I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
