i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I licked your asshole in confidence.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
