So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
