He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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