It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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