why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
