I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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