C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize