JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
