Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize