did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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