3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
