Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
