And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You took a bar mat shot.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
