she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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