I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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