So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize