he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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