Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
