I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
