And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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