There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
