Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
