he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
