I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
