I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
