you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My life is pants optional.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
