i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
