super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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