we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
