I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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