I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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