Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
