that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
operation harelip BJ is a go
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We left the knife in your bed.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize