It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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