Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
