I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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