You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
