in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
