Do vagina's smell?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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