she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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