Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
