I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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