oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm really busy with my period
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