she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize