apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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