I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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