actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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