Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
