Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
