Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
