When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
