There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
