I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
