i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
