Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Im part way to drunk.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
