Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
