I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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