You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
