Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Randomize
