You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
