I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
