i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
