i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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