i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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