I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
