I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize