How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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