my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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