covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
