Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
