You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
