It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
