A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
