his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
