no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
